Soon!

I am getting married on Saturday. Can't write a big blog post this week because of a million things to do. Oh yeah, I got the job at the school!

Be blessed!

Please Hold my Reeling Head

Nothing is Settled Yet

The Wedding

Preparations for the wedding are still quite crazy. We forgot until recently about signing a prenup contract until our priest asked us about it. It is less than two weeks before the big day and I only kind of finalized the guest list...so many people are saying "maybe" they'll come. What is finalized is the number of cupcakes and champagne bottles we are buying. At this stage there are more than 3 cupcakes per person and that does not include the savoury snacks yet (which I haven't finalized yet). That is a lot of cupcakes, but hey, we don't even need to order take out for the honeymoon then. We can sequester ourselves in our luxury suite and live off of cupcakes! Awesome! Hahaha.

The Job

So, I signed a contract for a year from the start of January to interpret 20 hours a week. I have never felt called to be an interpreter and pretty much do it because it is the highest paying part-time job around and I am good at it most of the time. I haven't been at peace about not having a full-time job even though I am really interested in pursuing a degree in chemistry. I haven't stopped the crying, even though it has been getting less than it was at the very start. Then last night, a lady, for whom I had done some volunteer work at her school a while back, contacted me and asked whether I'd be interested in a teaching post at her brand new christian school. I immediately said that if they can at least match my interpreting salary, then I would be willing to drop everything and work there. The reason for this is that I was busy asking God what He wants me to do next year, and she contacted me out of the blue. It seems like a sign.

Here is Where it Gets Crazy...

When I went to see her and her husband in person about the job they have for me, they confessed that they actually need a school principle with my accreditation. So far, they know of no one else who is willing to help them start the school with the kind of accreditation that I have. I have never even been a full-time teacher, let alone a principle! Even so everyone is relatively positive about this including betrothed.

There are some small problems though. Everything has to be finalized really quickly because I am getting married in less than two weeks, and then I am off on honeymoon until the end of December. The job I currently have a contract for starts in January. My month's notice is already too late; especially considering that the school wants me to go for training most of January. I hope I can leave in good standing at the other job.

To an Ending Which is Happily Ever After

I am not one to sit still in the same town for the next 50 years; finding out what I am doing next year means exactly that: what I am doing next year. I am a person of exploration and creativity and new exciting adventures.  I don't believe a perfect happily ever after is possible in this life, but that it is in the the life to come. I believe since I try to submit everything to God; He will make my life a great one. I believe He has brought betrothed and I together. I wish that sometimes my heart would not forget that I believe in so much more than I can see.

PS

It was my bridal shower that Saturday that I thought it would be! I knew it! Ha! And it was very nice, with very nice gifts and money too. Thanks stepmom!

Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve

I feel a lot like this song these days. It's like my anthem. I hope I get a better anthem soon. Beautiful poetry though, don't you think so too? I love good poetry like these lyrics.

Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve

'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life

Try to make ends meet

You're a slave to money then you die

I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down

You know the one that takes you to the places 

where all the veins meet yeah, 

No change, I can change

I can change, I can change

But I'm here in my mold

I am here in my mold

But I'm a million different people 

from one day to the next

I can't change my mold

No, no, no, no, no

Well I never pray

But tonight I'm on my knees yeah

I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah

I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now

But the airways are clean and there's nobody singing to me now

No change, I can change

I can change, I can change

But I'm here in my mold

I am here in my mold

And I'm a million different people

from one day to the next

I can't change my mold

No, no, no, no, no

I can't change

I can't change

'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life

Try to make ends meet

Try to find some money then you die

I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down

You know the one that takes you to the places 

where all the things meet yeah 

You know I can change, I can change

I can change, I can change

But I'm here in my mold

I am here in my mold

And I'm a million different people

from one day to the next

I can't change my mold

No, no, no, no, no

I can't change my mold

no, no, no, no, no,

I can't change

Can't change my body,

no, no, no

I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down

I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down

Been down

Ever been down

Ever been down

Ever been down

Ever been down

Have you ever been down?

Have you've ever been down?

Thanks to carriegalloway for correcting these lyrics

Writer: JAGGER, MICK / RICHARDS, KEITH / ASHCROFT, RICHARD 

Copyright: Lyrics © ABKCO Music Inc.

source: http://www.lyricsondemand.com/

Did I Get the Job? And Other Current Events.

The "Interview"

My manager did not even look at my CV. She did not even ask me one question in this supposed interview. I arrived twenty minutes early; she ushered me in and told me to sign my contract. We were finished before my actual interview appointment's time. I think it had something to do with the fact that we both wanted to go to the year end function of the campus, and that she knew she would hire me anyway since I have 3 years of experience with the organisation. I was just glad not to have to answer any questions this time. I seriously thought she would grill me on my mistakes of the year past before hiring me anyway. I am so glad that this was as easy as it was. :D

Bridal Showers!

As far as other current events go, my cell group (Bible study group) surprised me and my betrothed with a bridal shower type of party. It was really a surprise, and I loved it! We played a little game, and got some great gifts. It made me feel special. Thanks guys!

A few weeks back my step-mom asked me if she could have phone numbers of ladies that I would like to have at my bridal shower. She said she would have liked to keep it a total surprise, but she has no idea how to contact my friends. She also said that she would still try to surprise me in terms of when it is going to happen. Well, I was really surprised that she would even think of throwing me a bridal shower; but now that I know, I try to snoop out the date and time. I honestly believe it is tomorrow. The three people who gave me clues: my dad first, then my friend Carine, and lastly my friend Lize. Let me just say that none of them said anything about a bridal shower, but they all made comments about this Saturday that made me think it must be now. Betrothed was very worried that he gave something away; because when I told him I believe the shower will be this Saturday, he asked if I thought he knew when it would be or whether he was one of the people to give clues away. I said that I think he knows, but that I am not really as sure about that as about when it will be. He really gave no clues, until that moment when he asked those questions. He has been doing a better job than I thought he could with secrets like that. I will let you know if it happened tomorrow.

Exams

I have one exam left. It is Calculus; and I'm not sure that I'll pass it, because I am too excited about the wedding and not focusing on studying so much. It will most likely not help me next year, because I will most likely change to a degree in Chemistry which has very little Calculus in it. I have two reasons I would like to pass this subject. Firstly, my dad paid for it; so I should use this opportunity to have some maths qualification. Secondly, betrothed is a professional mathematician; and I would like to understand his world just a little bit better. Please pray for me in this respect.

So yeah...

I will update you again soon on my adventures. Be blessed! And don't be afraid to comment on my blog... :)

CVs and Interviews

My Bearded Muse

My betrothed and I have been talking, as it should be. He has become my bearded muse for this week's topic. He says he can't afford me not contributing to the household at all. So, I have to keep on working at least part-time if not full-time. I have a decent paying part-time job as an educational interpreter. I interpret lectures at the university from Afrikaans to English; and I am pretty good at it...not amazing...but pretty good :). My manager announced that from this year on we will have to reapply for our own jobs each year. This is something new and not so nice. I have to hand in a CV and go for an interview tomorrow! Thus my bearded muse suggested a discussion on CVs and interviews.

CVs

I don't know about you people, but I hate writing my CV or even updating my CV. I always feel like I am lying. Perhaps you are some of those people with strong German blood who update their CV every three months and keep every single payslip and contract you ever signed, but I am a bit happy-go-lucky... with a guilty conscience. I never remember which month I started working at a job and what month I stopped. To make things even more unbearable, I did not finish school in a traditional schooling system and CVs always require subjects, marks, and school achievements. I have lost my original high school diploma and the laptop with an electronic copy of my marks has been stolen. So I decided on a resume instead of a CV. I listed only my tertiary accomplishments of which I only remember the academics, with the extra activities and leadership I tend to forget what I did and when I did them... and it also never seems relevant to me to the job I am applying for; so I leave them. I did put in interests and some hobbies, but they always seem pathetic and airy-fairy to me. They are things like reading and writing poetry, arts and crafts, volunteering and missionary work. I think the things they are looking for should be relevant to the job and uber-leadership-like; so for interpreting it should be "published part-time author", "award winning motivational speaker", and "reading dictionaries". I wish I was as cool as I think they want me to be. That is the feeling I am left with when writing a CV. No wonder people get paid to do this for you, but I will probably never pay for someone to write my CV. Be brave, save money, get an internet template, write it.

Interviews

Ah, the power to impress in person. I don't have it. First impressions and I are not friends. Lucky for me, the interview I am facing this time is with people I have worked for for three years. This is good and bad. Good, because they know well how I can benefit their endeavor; and bad, because they know my professional weaknesses as well. An interview gives them the power to easily say that they will not be hiring me again. I think I will get some negative feedback in my interview because I do do "important" admin wrong or forget about it totally from time to time; but I do think I will be rehired as I produce, what they call, a relatively good quality "interpreting product".

Betrothed, being a professional mathematician, loves it when thing are so practical that it becomes ridiculous; so sent him this cartoon on 9GAG about an honest interview: http://9gag.com/gag/aQppBXz?ref=fb.s

It is quite funny. I wish I was allowed to say that in interviews; it would be so much easier.

To Endings and New Beginnings

So, here's to my wedding being exactly a month away. Here's to being with betrothed, my bearded muse, as more than just friends for 3 years 2 months and 2 days today. Here's to me re-deciding what I want to do for a living; and here's to acing the interview tomorrow and handing in a satisfactory CV. I will let you know what happened. Be blessed!

Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace

That Infamous Part

You know that infamous part in the marriage ceremony? That part where most expect nothing to happen, and others hold their breath? I wonder if all marriage ceremonies have that part where the marriage licensing official says "Speak now or forever hold your peace!" Of course, he is referring to having any objections to the union. Well, if critically discussed, any person who has objections should have spoken before then since a lot of time and money had gone into the ceremony; but on the other hand, it seems like a pretty necessary part because any objections should be dealt with and there comes a time when the objections cannot really be dealt with any more -- like when the contract has already been signed.

When is a Good Time to Speak Up?

I think when a couple gets engaged it is indeed a good time to start questioning people's motives. I think if you have any reservations about the relationship, the engagement is a better time to speak up than during the actual marriage ceremony at least. If anyone is reading my blog and would like to give an opinion on the matter, when do you think would be the best time to tell someone that their relationship might not be good and healthy?

The Independence Protectors

Some might say never, because it is none of your business; you have to trust that the other person is an intelligent adult who knows what they are doing, even if it doesn't look right to you. You know, that "if you say you're happy then I'm happy" kind of attitude.

The Super Honest

Some might say as soon as possible. You might feel like a good friend/family member would speak candidly because they love the other person.

The Pragmatic

And still some might say after it is evident that the relationship is getting serious, but hopefully before engagement. That would be the kind of person that says engagement is already such a commitment that you should have spoken before that, but not long before that because bad relationships tend to fall apart before anything serious develops anyway.

So It Happened

No, nothing as juicy as someone shouting "I object!" has happened at any wedding I have attended; but I have been engaged to someone else before and I am engaged now, and both times some people have voiced strong objections. Would you like to know who and why? I am quite sure you would; and since I'm not shy, here are some of the details...

My First Time

The first guy I was planning to marry was very verbally abusive and lying and cheating at the time, I was young (19 to 21 years of age) and stupid; and easily manipulated by a man. None of the people, including my parents, who told me I should not marry him made much of a difference. I think a lot of people praying for me made a world of difference (a group often overlapping with the people telling me), because in the end I became convinced by his own actions that we should split (just in time, a week before the legalizing of our marriage!).

My True Love

This time is very different. I am 100% sure that God put us together and that we should marry. We are both at peace and happy and very excited! You would think no problems then, right? You'd be wrong. So far his father has threatened not to attend the wedding on several occasions but he usually retracts it after a while. I think he just wants attention, as his reasons vary widely and have no basis. It is still unsettling, though, to think a father can do that, but we try to move on. Then there is someone else...

I Know You Read my Blog

This lady is part of my betrothed's family (luckily not too close family). I have said "hello" to her maybe twice in my whole life, and that is the sum of all conversation we have had face to face! You know why she thinks she knows me and that this relationship is doomed? She has gone through as much of my Facebook page as she can, which isn't a lot as we are not friends on Facebook. I guess most of what she saw was photos where my betrothed has been tagged, because they are Facebook friends. Also, she has read my first blog post. This is evident in the emails that she has sent to my betrothed to warn him against me. Some of the details she uses are only available in my blog. So, one good thing did come from this, I probably have an avid reader. So, yay!, for building a blog following. It is coming, people...wait where are you? Haha.

My List of Sins

1. I take dance classes with my betrothed.
2. We went to a Halloween party once.
3. We go to bars and clubs.
4. When she confronted me about it on email, I was unrepentant and rude.
5. My betrothed and I are both overweight.
6. I go with my betrothed to an Anglican church.
7. That is all I can remember right now...

Unfortunately, of that whole list, I only see being rude as a sin; and definitely not a sin worthy of not marrying a good man. If betrothed was looking for a girl who is never rude, well then he will never get married. Apparently she has appointed herself as Jesus, because she knows all hearts, and she has told my betrothed she doubts my salvation.

In Conclusion

If our relationship was meant to fall by this, well then it would have and it would have been a blessing. Lucky for us, our relationship is very strong and truly built on God. Betrothed knows much worse sins of mine than the ones on Facebook, and Betrothed knows much better virtues of mine than the ones on Facebook. Things like this will not phase us at all, because we are very honest with each other and support each other in being better people. I praise God for this blessed relationship and for this man that He is building up in His kingdom!

On the Verge of a New Life

The Break-up

I have been eating junk food and crying for several weeks now, it feels like a bad break-up. It feels like that old lie, if you just love him enough, if you just put in the effort, he will see it and love you back and everything will be alright. Then a few years down the road, you like him less than when you met, the relationship makes you unhappy, you still don't want to give up because you have put all this emotion and work into it. With whom am I breaking up? My chemical engineering degree; and I have invested so much. I have sacrificed part of my health, relationships with others, spirituality and my late 20s for this degree, and I am getting no love back. What would I have liked back from it? Time to take care of myself and my relationships, just a little freedom. Unfortunately, it acts like a domineering boyfriend who is way too jealous. It isolates me, and dictates how I should act at all times. So, I need to tell myself, I am not really missing him, I am just missing the idea of what I thought he'd be like. Oh, another thing that is very true but does not feel true at all that I used to tell myself when there were break-ups: If you thought he was wonderful and now you can see he is not the one, just imagine what God has in store for you as "the one". It has to be even more amazing. So I am trying to hold on to that.

Comparison to the Stereotype

Similarities

I feel a bit like a stereotype, because I am starting a blog to chart my trepidatious journey through one of the most hated decades of life. It is like women have the whole midlife-crisis thing approximately 10 years earlier than men. We wake-up one day in our 30s and realise that this is not all we have dreamed of as a child. We feel like we have lost our way because society dictated the reasonable way to live. We feel like we thought the 20s would last a bit longer than it did. We thought we'd have it all figured out by this age.

Differences

Lucky/unlucky for me, unlike the lady in "Eat, Pray, Love", I don't have to get a divorce and go on a spiritual journey to some monastery. As for the eat part, I got that down pat...perhaps I should slow down on that, as I'm already being told by doctors to lose weight because of health risks such as diabetes and high blood pressure. As for the pray part, my journey is a journey, but I am on my way and happy. A few years ago I had a week away from everything to sort out my life, at exactly the right time, and I believe I have found the Creator God who loves me as His creation. I have a wonderful relationship with my Saviour, Jesus Christ. I am an Anglican, but not bound to that denomination by any means, and often attend other types of churches. I am also open to learning about other people's spiritual journeys (in fact I love learning about others' deepest thoughts and motivations), but I will have my opinion and expect to be respected as I respect others. As for the love part, I CAN'T WAIT TO GET MARRIED! I have found my soul mate; a rare and special occurrence indeed. I used to lie to myself with other boyfriends; telling myself that this is the one; but I can totally see the difference now. I can do another blog about that; but suffice to say for now that you have a peace and happiness, and he will have a tenderness and patience that lasts.

Conclusion

So then, if I got all that down, what is the problem you ask? Well, career and children mostly. I have no idea what will make me happy. In fact, I am most likely quitting my chemical engineering studies in January and starting a different degree. By the way, this will be my 3rd attempt at a new degree in the last 10 years. Yes, I have been registered as a student at the same university for 10 years, most of that time being full-time. I also have no children yet; and my significant other and I oscillate on an hourly basis between wanting children and not wanting children and how many. Some people say if it is meant to happen, then birth control will be no barrier to the happy event...I am just so confused.

Life Changing Events in the Near Future:

• 13 December 2014: Getting married to the man of my dreams
• 15 January 2015: Changing what I do full-time (cut-off date for big decisions on studies and career for the year)
• 30 July 2015: Turning 30 years old