Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace

That Infamous Part

You know that infamous part in the marriage ceremony? That part where most expect nothing to happen, and others hold their breath? I wonder if all marriage ceremonies have that part where the marriage licensing official says "Speak now or forever hold your peace!" Of course, he is referring to having any objections to the union. Well, if critically discussed, any person who has objections should have spoken before then since a lot of time and money had gone into the ceremony; but on the other hand, it seems like a pretty necessary part because any objections should be dealt with and there comes a time when the objections cannot really be dealt with any more -- like when the contract has already been signed.

When is a Good Time to Speak Up?

I think when a couple gets engaged it is indeed a good time to start questioning people's motives. I think if you have any reservations about the relationship, the engagement is a better time to speak up than during the actual marriage ceremony at least. If anyone is reading my blog and would like to give an opinion on the matter, when do you think would be the best time to tell someone that their relationship might not be good and healthy?

The Independence Protectors

Some might say never, because it is none of your business; you have to trust that the other person is an intelligent adult who knows what they are doing, even if it doesn't look right to you. You know, that "if you say you're happy then I'm happy" kind of attitude.

The Super Honest

Some might say as soon as possible. You might feel like a good friend/family member would speak candidly because they love the other person.

The Pragmatic

And still some might say after it is evident that the relationship is getting serious, but hopefully before engagement. That would be the kind of person that says engagement is already such a commitment that you should have spoken before that, but not long before that because bad relationships tend to fall apart before anything serious develops anyway.

So It Happened

No, nothing as juicy as someone shouting "I object!" has happened at any wedding I have attended; but I have been engaged to someone else before and I am engaged now, and both times some people have voiced strong objections. Would you like to know who and why? I am quite sure you would; and since I'm not shy, here are some of the details...

My First Time

The first guy I was planning to marry was very verbally abusive and lying and cheating at the time, I was young (19 to 21 years of age) and stupid; and easily manipulated by a man. None of the people, including my parents, who told me I should not marry him made much of a difference. I think a lot of people praying for me made a world of difference (a group often overlapping with the people telling me), because in the end I became convinced by his own actions that we should split (just in time, a week before the legalizing of our marriage!).

My True Love

This time is very different. I am 100% sure that God put us together and that we should marry. We are both at peace and happy and very excited! You would think no problems then, right? You'd be wrong. So far his father has threatened not to attend the wedding on several occasions but he usually retracts it after a while. I think he just wants attention, as his reasons vary widely and have no basis. It is still unsettling, though, to think a father can do that, but we try to move on. Then there is someone else...

I Know You Read my Blog

This lady is part of my betrothed's family (luckily not too close family). I have said "hello" to her maybe twice in my whole life, and that is the sum of all conversation we have had face to face! You know why she thinks she knows me and that this relationship is doomed? She has gone through as much of my Facebook page as she can, which isn't a lot as we are not friends on Facebook. I guess most of what she saw was photos where my betrothed has been tagged, because they are Facebook friends. Also, she has read my first blog post. This is evident in the emails that she has sent to my betrothed to warn him against me. Some of the details she uses are only available in my blog. So, one good thing did come from this, I probably have an avid reader. So, yay!, for building a blog following. It is coming, people...wait where are you? Haha.

My List of Sins

1. I take dance classes with my betrothed.
2. We went to a Halloween party once.
3. We go to bars and clubs.
4. When she confronted me about it on email, I was unrepentant and rude.
5. My betrothed and I are both overweight.
6. I go with my betrothed to an Anglican church.
7. That is all I can remember right now...

Unfortunately, of that whole list, I only see being rude as a sin; and definitely not a sin worthy of not marrying a good man. If betrothed was looking for a girl who is never rude, well then he will never get married. Apparently she has appointed herself as Jesus, because she knows all hearts, and she has told my betrothed she doubts my salvation.

In Conclusion

If our relationship was meant to fall by this, well then it would have and it would have been a blessing. Lucky for us, our relationship is very strong and truly built on God. Betrothed knows much worse sins of mine than the ones on Facebook, and Betrothed knows much better virtues of mine than the ones on Facebook. Things like this will not phase us at all, because we are very honest with each other and support each other in being better people. I praise God for this blessed relationship and for this man that He is building up in His kingdom!